So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
