My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I touched a dick in church today
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
