Your tits are I can't wait for
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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