Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
