How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Im part way to drunk.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
