I'm lost and stupid without you.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
