I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
