Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
