Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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