Michael Bay diarrhea
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
