Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
