did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
