Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
