i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize