Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
