I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
this hospital has no fireball
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
