her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
