Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
