I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
