Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize