After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
