i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize