Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
