She's JV to your varsity
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize