i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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