Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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