so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am puke
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
