How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
