why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
