that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Bang-toberfest begins!!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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