How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize