You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize