he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
