did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
