it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize