she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
