While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
