she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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