Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
