you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize