The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
