I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
cat food counts as protein by the way
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
