I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
