yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
