TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
