Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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