dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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