Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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