At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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