so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
