I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just gift wrapped bread.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
