Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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