You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
