im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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