I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
