Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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